Shout Out.

You appointed me.
You told me to lead this.
And now, I've been speaking since then.
Explaining what is to be done.
Trying to put the puzzle in to pieces.
Hoping to connect the strings of the melody.

But, no one hears me.
No, no one wants to hear me.

A year and a half.

It is time to grow.
Sobra saya ko lang kasi I finally get rid of this silly feeling, grabe after so many sems.. :)

Salamat sa lahat ng tumulong sa akin. Girl, you know who you are. :) sa tropa ko, alam niyo na rin kung sino kayo. :) salamat ah :) God bless!

Random

Words that once colored my life, have now evolved into something that only abstraction could only define.

Hear me.

Don't you know that I'm in pain too...? But I just covered it with happiness when I'm with you.

-an excerpt from Prettiest Friend

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty that a person who has nothing to eat.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Love till it hurts. Love to the fullest till it hurts no more.

thoughts # ?

There are times that I just don't know myself. There are things that are better left unsaid.

Adios

I may get tired of you sometimes, but it won't stop me from caring about you. it may look like a one way road trip but I don't care. For now, I am looking for the space that you have greatly occupied in me. For now, I have to slow down. For now, I have to stop this all at once. For now, it is time to take good care of myself..it's been a good relationship though.  Adios.
-30

Sonder

The scent of the morning was everywhere. The light together with the cold breeze embraced me. 'Twas a beautiful day indeed. I was in the university field. I was sitting on a wheel chair. I heard my friends' laughter, we were in a picnic perhaps. Then, he was there, he is there. He was taking me somewhere while he was holding my shoulder. Then we stopped. His warm hands hold mine--fingers intertwined, one by one. The heat was tolerable, my blood was in a rush. His scent was a drug.

Then, his eyes met mine, no words uttered, only the words that our heart could understand. We hold each other's gaze for a minute or two, but it was like forever. 

Suddenly, the bright blue sky turned into mad darkness. In just a snap, he was gone. I was alone, no friends, no meadow, no food. I was in a distant place, still on my wheel chair. Then a  loud voice roared from nowhere. It was deafening. The voice was familiar. It was persistent. It was my mom. Then, a gale came. I fell down. And then, I opened my eyes, realizing that it was 4:30 in the morning, that it was just a sweet dream turned into a bitter nightmare. 

-30 MCalamba (Blackrose)

11:50 pm, February 10, 2014

Failure, failure everywhere.
Ouch.
Judgement of numbers are bugging me right now, and I don't know how to get back to the track again.
Yes, I'm tired. Very. But being exhausted is not an excuse.
The clock is running. But should I just watch the sand to run out?
Honestly, I don't know what to do.
If I fail again, I don't know. I don't know if I can study. I don't know...I am worried. Forgive me if I pour my worries here, it is just right now, I just need someone to talk to at this very moment. But then, my family is not here, they got a lot of things to do,and I don't want to be a bother to them; most of friends are sleeping at this moment.

Tomorrow is another hope. Another chance, another chapter, and not to waste for another failure.
I need prayers, I need my family, my dearest friends and of course, God. I have to carry the cross with a smile. I know that these things have a purpose. And these will make me stronger, braver and wiser.

Right now, I am bothered. Oh God, please enlighten me. :(

Friend, where are you when I needed you most? even your mere presence can already brighten my day..

Child's Play

We were playing outside the house. Running like a wild beast.

We were at the zenith of our excitement. Then a suddenly a friend of mine asked me something. And from then on, something made me incomplete.

Poem 3

Witness how the sun illuminates the sky once filled with darkness.

Rising like a child, brave as the front-line warrior.

Unfathomable mystery behind its glow.

Words  uttered, that's what I only know.

Poem 2

When:February 6, 2014
Where: UST Field



See how the light and dark embrace one another.
as if there is no tomorrow.
See how the fog reveals the beauty
Of the meadows cover by its mystery.


See how the morning dew cleans the impurity
of the leaves which once rooted in sins.
See how the Time greets you miraculously
To tell that God is with you eternally.